Yesterday eve as I was walking downtown toward my bus stop, a bum sitting on the street held out an empty paper cup at me and shook it around. I gave him a half-smile and said, “Sorry,” and kept walking.
To which the bum replied, “CUNT! I HATE YOU!”
Are you shocked? I was.
I can’t decide which is worse, the c-word or the fact he said he hated me. Both are truly terrible and I was hurt. Although the first was a very bad swear, it was still just a word. But the fact that he hated me?! Really? That’s a pretty strong emotion, hate. Do you really hate me because I didn’t flip you a dollar?
Really?
It took all my willpower to not march right back there and give him a piece of my mind. In fact, if I hadn’t been alone, I probably would have.
There are lots of homeless people begging on the streets of Vancouver and there are a lot of different reasons why they’re there. That’s why I have no problem sparing some change sometimes. However, I can only do it when I feel they are at least making some sort of effort to contribute to society and to earn that change, whether they’re holding open a door, sweeping the sidewalk or singing (albeit it off-key) to bring a smile to someone’s face. It just feels right.
If they have chosen to not do anything at all but sit there, then I’m ok with that too – if they are not harassing anyone. After all, hey, it’s their prerogative to do nothing. There are a few regulars I see sometimes who do nothing but do it with such finesse and politeness that I still toss them a buck sometimes just to let them know I appreciate the fact that they say, “ok well thanks anyway, you have yourself a wonderful day!” in such a jolly way… to people who don’t have any change to spare.
But I have absolutely no patience whatsoever for the bums that do nothing but sit there and are rude, obnoxious and downright hateful when you don’t give them money. It’s only making things worse on so many levels.
I can’t help it – I’m still angry about it. I know I should redirect that energy to forgiveness and love. That’s the only way to turn this around. But it’s hard.
At least I wouldn’t say I hate him.
[Photo by Duncan-M on Flicker]
3 comments
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January 27, 2008 at 4:17 am
sweetlybroken
great post! Knowing that street people generally spend the money they collect on their addictions makes giving even harder.
January 29, 2008 at 10:42 pm
Laura
Well said. I work downtown and encounter several homeless people every day if I venture outside my building for lunch or to run an errand. I occasionally give some change or buy lunch for the “regulars” who always smile and wish me a good day. But I wouldn’t give a penny to those who act like they’re entitled to my money just because I’m dressed better than them and happened to walk by them. I’m sure I’d have a chip on my shoulder too if I were in their shoes, but cursing at me is not going to make me want to help them.
April 7, 2010 at 2:55 am
Maria
This is Maria from a Japanese newspaper company and I am looking for a photo for my article on the homeless issues in Eastside. I was wondering if you would kindly let me use one of your photos for my article, since we at the company do not have any pictures of homeless people in Vancouver. If you will, please contact me at marixie@gmail.com Thank you so much.
Sincerely, Maria